Trust Me, I'm Not Dismantling Your Childhood -or- Why is Ke$ha on the Radio?

Shameless tie-ins are a dime a dozen. Lego Pirates of the Caribbean, Addams Family Cereal, Jurassic Park Raptor Bits, Flubber Burgers...I could go on, and, as annoying as I find some of these products, I am not immune to giving into 'blockbuster' consumerism myself. Raise your hand if you own a Marvel Superheroes Monopoly Set. No one? Well, it was a gift! ...that I just hadn't got around to buying for myself. 

My first (memorable) foray into the pandemic was convincing my parents to purchase the 1990 Ninja Turtles' album 'Coming Out Of Our Shells,' which they did after hours of driving to three different Pizza Huts just to find a copy to purchase (Mom & Dad, I love you).


 The end result? Hours upon hours of jamming out to such hits as 'Pizza Power,' No Treaties (After The War), and Tubin'. It's as charming as it is embarrassing (no more embarrassing than recalling those Turtle jams from memory) for all parties involved, but I trust that we've all made similar mistakes. Which leads me into today's find...

Not to be outdone, the Dinosaurs (from TV's Dinosaurs) decided to release their own album in 1992. With such hits as 'I'm The Baby (Gotta Love Me)' and 'Be A Herbivore,' Big Songs screamed onto the music scene, offering us timeless melodies that we'll surely share with generations to come.

'We gotta turn this world around

They can't keep us down

These old dinosaurs who rule our lives

Have been in charge too long'

-Robbie & Spike Sinclair, I Wanna Be King

Sure, it's ridiculous. But I could plop some Ke$ha lyrics down right beside it and you'd never know the difference. And who knows? Maybe in a few years when Michael Bay decides to revamp Dinosaurs for the big screen, this little packet of liner notes may actually be worth something. AND maybe when Michael Bay pitches the idea for the big screen adaptation, Ke$ha's people can put in a bid to be on the soundtrack? AND maybe the soundtrack will only be sold digitally through iTunes during Dino-r(O)ck-Tober? AND maybe McDonalds' can offer download tickets at a fraction of their original cost if you purchase the Dinoburger: The-burger-big-enough-to-feed-a-TRex-(or small village)-but-since-there-are-no-more-dinosaurs-you-will-need-to-look-at-the-burger-as-a-challenge-to-finish-it-rather-than-part-of-a-meal?

I'm actually pretty good at this.

But I digress, some tie-ins are just...well, just great.

while others?

But, seriously, folks, let's all take a moment here to think about what we're buying into. Do you really want anyone else outside of a contemporary time frame to remember who Ke$ha is? Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh, yeah, tie-ins. There are product placements galore in her video "We R Who We R," and if you...what? I'm talking about Ke$ha again? Oh, nevermind...