Growing Up On The Newsstand

It's no secret that I detest celebrity gossip. I understand it from an escapist point of view, but I hate it. Loathe it. Can't seem to escape it.

A few weeks ago, I watched a documentary called Smash His Camera: a film that looks at the life of Ron Galella, a man who became 'famous' for taking pictures of celebrities. In other words, Galella is paparazzi--plain and simple, and his favorite subject (and picture) graces the cover of the film itself.

Behold, the immortal Jackie O.

It's subject matter is something I'm super familiar given that I sell vintage celebrity magazines on a daily basis, and, if you look at any of publications from the 70s and early 80s: Screen Stories, Movie Screen, TV & Movie Screen, etc., you'd be hard pressed to find one that doesn't feature a picture of Jackie and her children.

When I began selling magazines, I gravitated towards the scholarly. Esquire was my first choice because of their long running history with iconic authors. I listed multiple vintage issues (on eBay) at the starting price of $5.95 and breathed a heavy sigh as that sat in my online store, untouched. A week later, I listed some Teen Beats which would go on to fetch, on average, $15.00 an issue. I was baffled but kept at it.

Rolling Stone, Galaxy Science Fiction, Scribners...none such luck, so, despite my own qualms, I began listing what the people wanted. It got to the point where I could look at a single issue and instantly tell how much it would sell for based on who was in it. I hated this (still do) as I became a stupid black hole of celebrity knowledge. Once, while on a date, I answered a trivia question about a 90s teen star without hesitation. I tried to laugh it off; I explained the type of merchandise I sold, but the damage was done. The date had ended.

At first, you don't feel too bad for the celebrity. Despite how many covers they grace, most of the headlines seem relatively harmless. "Divorce Rumors?, Who Kissed Who Under the Mistletoe?, Which of These Birds Did Johnny Make Sing?" Annoying, yet tolerable.

It was until I realized that, through photographs and stupid headlines, I was witnessing Jackie's kids grow up. Imagine what that's like? Being photographed from a distance by some creep in the bushes ALL YOUR LIFE. I can't imagine that. I would go crazy. Yet, when we see it at the newsstand it's acceptable, and necessary, because it helps the issue sell. It's a very hard pill.

And one I almost swallowed watching Smash His Camera. Halfway through I found myself feeling sympathetic to Galella's plight: "I do what I do because I love these people." I will admit, the man has passion. Clips from the documentary show Galella weaving in and out of traffic, forging documentation, and hiding in the shadows--all in relentless pursuit of his target. The end result being a treasure chest of candid shots that capture the celebrity in a series of unscripted moments.

Or he's a stalker.

An idiot who gets paid to stalk celebrities and their children.

It's hard to put a price on privacy. It's hard, but it's done. Every single day.

So what's your take on this? Am I being too dramatic? (of course, I am) Do you agree? Disagree? Are you hungry? Who's hungry? Feel free to vent in the comments below.

-TLB